5 Ways to Help Children Cope with Grief

Everyone, regardless of age, grieves differently. For children, it can be harder as they’re processing the loss while also watching everyone else grieving.

As a parent, it can be challenging to see your child struggle or feel hurt. Different reactions and emotions are normal, and with some reassurance, they will be okay with time.

Unsure how to support your child during this difficult time? Here are five strategies from our experienced concierge team that may help.

1. Talk to Your Kids about Death

Many parents wonder what to tell their children when a loved one dies. But, it’s always good as adults to be honest about death and grief. If we don’t, kids can fill up their imaginations with situations that can be frightening.

A simple explanation, such as the heart has stopped beating or the lungs aren’t working, so the person isn’t breathing, can help. If your family has any beliefs, introduce them now.

When talking about death, be calm and caring. Avoid being vague and using statements that may be confusing, like “passed away” or “gone to sleep.”  Also, pause between to allow them to process and manage their own feelings.

Tip: Use age-appropriate language.

2. Offer Comfort

We at Memorial Tribute Legacy believe that children need to feel a sense of belonging in their family. Love and attention should be part and parcel of their life.

But grief can take away a child’s sense of belonging and significance. If your child has lost someone important to them, you can imagine how lost they may be feeling. As parents, we need to listen and comfort our children.

Let them know it’s okay to be sad, confused, or angry. Also, encourage them to talk or find other means of expressing themselves, like drawing. But don’t be pushy. Reassure them that they’re safe and loved.

Be present, offer hugs, or spend quiet time together. But most importantly, listen actively.

3. Prepare Them on What to Expect

Grief can sometimes bring changes in a child’s life. In that case, they need to be prepared for what will happen.

If death comes with changes in their routine, explain what will happen. 

For instance, “I will pick you up from school instead of Dad.” or “Aunty Sara will take you home as I need to stay with grandpa for some days.”

4. Allow Them to Participate in the Funeral Preparations

Offer them age-appropriate tasks so that they feel included but not overwhelmed. They can:

• Pick a photo for the memorial table

• Sing a song

• Help in finding old photos to put on the digital memorial page.

• Write a letter to the loved one

Explain each step to them so that they know what to expect. If they don’t want to attend the service, reassure them that it’s okay.

5. Give Your Child Time to Heal From the Grief

Grief is sometimes a never-ending process. We encourage you to be patient and consistent with your child.

• Help them find grief relief outlets like:

• A karate class or old newspapers to stomp on for anger relief

• Play along, even if the games may sometimes make you uncomfortable. For instance, your daughter may try to recreate a nurse Barbie time with her grandma while in hospice care.

• Talking it out with you or a counsellor

• Writing daily journals or joining the school band/football team

In Conclusion

Sorrow is difficult, but it reminds us that we are stronger and brings us together. These strategies may help children who desperately need us at this moment.

It won’t be easy, but know that your child will smile again, and so will you.

When it gets very hard, you can always scan our QR Memorial Codes and allow your child to recall the joyous moments they had with the loved one.